A beautiful member of the coaching community I’m part of, Clare Greig, passed away on Monday and I feel deeply called to share about the tragic loss and celebrate the life of this amazing woman.
Warm, loving, caring, genuine, soulful, musical, graceful, strong, inspiring. Clare was an amazing woman, mother, coach, friend who left a little magic in the lives of everyone she met.
We’d crossed paths online and off through the Beautiful You Life Coaching Academy, and while we didn’t know each other that well, her death has hit me hard. Clare was pure light and love and joy.
I’ve been in a strange limbo land since I heard the news where I don’t know whether to just push on through or to shut the doors and cry, so I’ve been doing a bit of both.
But I woke up this morning to an email from Danielle LaPorte (if you haven’t checked out her wonderful stuff, here’s a link to her website) which said:
“What to do when things suck (hint: don’t gloss over it). When you’re feeling out of your soul zone and something crap is happening, accept that it’s happening. “Being” with the pain is the opposite of ignoring it. It means that instead of changing the subject, or eating a whole bag of chips, or glossing over the pain with fake gratitude, you take a minute (or a morning, or a solo weekend) to feel into how much it really sucks. This isn’t wallowing. This is curiosity, compassion and respect.”
And the clarity came rushing in.
What I need to do is take time to feel, accept, respect, acknowledge and let it suck that Clare is gone. Because it really, really, sucks.
So today, instead of sharing business tips, I wanted to honour Clare by talking about really living, because the death of someone so special cannot, and will not, be for nothing…
I lit a fire with the love you left behind.
Listen to the Podcast
Thank you Sarah – this was a great and important reminder! So sorry to hear about Clare… so young and a real loss to so many.
Although your words hold so much truth, the thing I struggle with is that as a new business I have to work longer hours than I’d like to really get my business of the ground. I love what I’m doing (health coach) but it’s not yet paying the bills so I need to keep ploughing away, however I’m very aware that I’m not always as present as I should be for my family. Trying to find the balance is tough. Thank you again ♥
You’re not alone Lorraine and I totally understand how you’re feeling about having to keep going, keep working, ploughing away to make it happen. I’ll be honest, I don’t know anyone who has this whole new business and having a life equation balanced. It’s a constant struggle, there are frustrations, fear, then the highs, then the guilt about working too much and, exactly as you said, not being present enough for your family. It’s really hard. And while I don’t have a magic answer, I can share that I’ve learned the hard way (more than once) that while the build is necessary, life and fun are so much more important. Now I know that sounds ‘easy to say, hard to do’ but think of it this way – running yourself into the ground will not serve you, your family, or your clients. Believe me, I’ve been there. What I’ve found has helped me a lot, particularly recently, is to do two things. One, honour myself and my needs by creating pockets of peace during the day. Little moments where I stop, close my eyes and ask myself “what do I need right now?” It might be food because I’ve forgotten to eat. It might be to get out of my chair and walk around the house for a minute or two. It might be spraying myself with an aromatherapy face mist for a pep up and a refreshing scent. But doing this has helped me feel less stressed. I also do one thing at a time (not always, sometimes not often, but my aim is one thing at a time). When I do that I get more done, I feel calmer and I make less mistakes. The second thing that’s helped a lot lately is finding the fun. As I’m sure you do, I spend a lot of time working because I believe in my business, I’m passionate about it and I want it to stay my full-time job. And I don’t know about you but often that means I spend a lot of time hyper focused and feeling like I can’t keep up. Lately I’ve been trying to pare things back a little and focus on the stuff that really matters, but most of all, I’ve been trying to bring the fun back. Because really, when we started our businesses, it wasn’t to feel stressed, and be cranky, and feel tired an overwhelmed and have no life. It was because we wanted to create a better life and have choice, flexibility and freedom. So I’m taking time to ask myself now, “How can I bring the fun back into my business?” and ultimately that translates to “what feels good to me?” Because if it feels good, it will usually take less effort (and sometimes less time) to get done. Last but not least, please know I get it, I get how hard it can be and I want you to know that I’m thinking of you, I believe in you and you’ve got this. Sarah x
I’m so sad to learn that beautiful Clare Greig has passed away. Clare was one of my original B School buddies and we supported each others mama-support businesses. She wrote a guest post for me and we always made time to comment under each others blog posts and social media messages.
I learned of her passing by scrolling through my podcast subscriptions and seeing this episode. Thank you for dedicating such a wonderful episode to Clare. Your words for us online business owners sank in very deeply for me.
“You are not your numbers. You are not the amount of subscribers you have or the amount of followers you have on social media. You are not the amount of visitors to your website, the number in your bank balance or the amount of clients that you work with. You are a beautiful, wonderful, amazing person – and you matter. Don’t sacrifice your friends, your family, your wellbeing, your sanity, your sense of self. Don’t sacrifice those things for what you think a business should look like. Look after yourself and love yourself and just know that you are amazing.”
R.I.P. amazing Clare xx
Hi Kelly, I’m so very sorry that the podcast is how you learned of Clare’s passing and please know I’m sending you love and light and my deepest condolences for your loss lovely lady. I hope that when the sadness passes, you’ll think of Clare and smile a big smile and remember all of the wonderful moments you shared together. She was, and always will be, a very special woman. Sending you love. Sarah x