Why you can't build a life or business based on fear

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What are you afraid of?



People laughing at you?

The people you love leaving you?


I’m afraid of people not liking me.

After dinner with a dear friend and a phone call with a wise mentor today, I had a deep a-ha moment.

Parts of my life are still based in fear.


But Sarah, you seem like such a happy person.

But Sarah, you look like you have it all together.

Wait! What? Sarah, you’re trying to teach me how to be confident, clear and connected – shouldn’t you be all those things first?

Let me clarify.

I do feel confident, clear and connected, but I’m not Wonder Woman.

I’m a real person.

I get scared too.

It’s not that I’m unhappy or don’t like myself.

It’s not that I want someone else’s life, figure, pay cheque or purpose (though Angelina Jolie’s life looks pretty sweet from the outside!).

It’s this:

If I strip away all the labels, the lists, the achievements and the things in my life; there’s still a part of me that lives in a place of fear.

For example, 10 years ago my fear was that I would never be in a loving relationship again. I was fairly freshly divorced and deeply unhappy. I was scared (and completely convinced) that no man would ever love me again.

I wanted to feel worthwhile.



I wanted to love and be loved in return.

I was desperate.

And everyone could sense that.

Fast forward 10 years and I’m in a great relationship with a caring, thoughtful and fun man.

I’ve proven that my fear had no basis in reality.

But it could’ve – if I’d let it.

If you fight with fear and you let it win you’ll get exactly what you expect – a negative outcome.

When I look back now at all the time I spent worrying that I’d never meet someone, I realise what a waste that was.

Lately, I’ve started to notice fear creeping back into my life. This time, it’s around my business.

I want to help people feel worthwhile.



And yes, I still want to love and be loved in return.

Fear has been telling me “You can’t do it”.

But how does fear even know that I can’t? I’ve never done this before, so there’s no actual proof that I’ll ‘fail’.

So what do I do about it?

I’ve got two choices.

I can either ignore it and build my business on a foundation of fear (not an option).

Or I can take a deep breath and tell my fear to take a hike.

If I step out of the feelings that fear brings up and I put my sensible hat on, I can see how much I’ll lose if I let fear win.

I’ll miss out on making new friends and sharing laughs, tears and truths with beautiful people like you.

I won’t get to know you and your stories, experience and adventures.

I won’t get to help you, make a difference in your day or remind you how amazing you are.

Most of all I’ll lose a lot of precious time. Time that could be spent laughing, loving, helping and connecting.

There’s too much to lose if I choose fear.

So today. Now. In this moment; I will thank my fear. I will acknowledge that it was trying to help me by keeping me small and keeping me safe.

I will thank fear, and I will let it go.

Instead, I choose love.

Instead, I choose you.

What are you afraid of

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