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What are you afraid of?
People laughing at you?
The people you love leaving you?
I’m afraid of people not liking me.
After dinner with a dear friend and a phone call with a wise mentor today, I had a deep a-ha moment.
Parts of my life are still based in fear.
But Sarah, you seem like such a happy person.
But Sarah, you look like you have it all together.
Wait! What? Sarah, you’re trying to teach me how to be confident, clear and connected – shouldn’t you be all those things first?
Let me clarify.
I do feel confident, clear and connected, but I’m not Wonder Woman.
I’m a real person.
I get scared too.
It’s not that I’m unhappy or don’t like myself.
It’s not that I want someone else’s life, figure, pay cheque or purpose (though Angelina Jolie’s life looks pretty sweet from the outside!).
If I strip away all the labels, the lists, the achievements and the things in my life; there’s still a part of me that lives in a place of fear.
For example, 10 years ago my fear was that I would never be in a loving relationship again. I was fairly freshly divorced and deeply unhappy. I was scared (and completely convinced) that no man would ever love me again.
I wanted to feel worthwhile.
I wanted to love and be loved in return.
I was desperate.
And everyone could sense that.
Fast forward 10 years and I’m in a great relationship with a caring, thoughtful and fun man.
I’ve proven that my fear had no basis in reality.
But it could’ve – if I’d let it.
If you fight with fear and you let it win you’ll get exactly what you expect – a negative outcome.
When I look back now at all the time I spent worrying that I’d never meet someone, I realise what a waste that was.
Lately, I’ve started to notice fear creeping back into my life. This time, it’s around my business.
I want to help people feel worthwhile.
And yes, I still want to love and be loved in return.
Fear has been telling me “You can’t do it”.
But how does fear even know that I can’t? I’ve never done this before, so there’s no actual proof that I’ll ‘fail’.
So what do I do about it?
I’ve got two choices.
I can either ignore it and build my business on a foundation of fear (not an option).
Or I can take a deep breath and tell my fear to take a hike.
If I step out of the feelings that fear brings up and I put my sensible hat on, I can see how much I’ll lose if I let fear win.
I’ll miss out on making new friends and sharing laughs, tears and truths with beautiful people like you.
I won’t get to know you and your stories, experience and adventures.
I won’t get to help you, make a difference in your day or remind you how amazing you are.
Most of all I’ll lose a lot of precious time. Time that could be spent laughing, loving, helping and connecting.
There’s too much to lose if I choose fear.
So today. Now. In this moment; I will thank my fear. I will acknowledge that it was trying to help me by keeping me small and keeping me safe.
I will thank fear, and I will let it go.
Instead, I choose love.
Instead, I choose you.